By this point the

[lmno196]

By this point the man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later... still no centipede!

He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede?ED Hardy Bikini
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So he goes to the front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.

The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"

[bcde104]

The French believe they are the biggest moaners in the world, a poll has revealed --and they appear to be rather proud of it.

More than 72 percent of those surveyed believe they can out-complain any other nation, compared with 17 percent who thought the Italians held the honour. They regularly turning their anger on bank, shop and restaurant workers. The survey polled more than 1,000 French adults and was commissioned by the insurance company Maaf.vibram five fingers

The principal reason they put forward for all their complaining was: "You have to grumble in life, otherwise you get trampled on." A staggering 25 percent of French people even said that they moaned as "a way of relaxing", with retired people generally seen as the most argumentative.

The survey suggests the French are continuing a tradition of protest dating back to the French Revolution, with thousands still regularly taking to the streets to make themselves heard. President Nicolas Sarkozy is viewed as a classically irritable French politician to let off frustration at his lack of inches by being rude to others and while corner isn't a huge problem, Murphy will still be an upgrade even though he can't fly. nike shox shoes

[lmno196]

I went to blockbusters last night and asked if i could borrow Batman Forever the bloke at the counter said,LV-ルイヴィトン
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[lmno196]

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.


"Watch and you'll see,"CA mini skirt
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answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.


Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "ticket, please."

[bcde104]

A traveler came to a river one day. He hired boatman to take him to the other side. It was a windy day and the waves were very high. So the traveler was a little afraid.Nike air max

"Are you sure we can cross the river safely?" he asked.Nike air max tn

"Of course," answered the boatman. The boat left the bank.Nike shox r4

"Has anyone ever been lost here before?" the anxious traveler asked again.

"Never," the boatman answered calmly. "My brother was drowned here last week, but we found him the next day." Nike shox nz

[lmno196]

A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop.Cheap NFL Jerseys
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She asked the shopkeeper why the parrot was so cheap, to which he replied, "Well, I have to tell you, the birds last owner was a madam at a whorehouse and he occasionally makes off color remarks that may offend some people."

[lmno196]

And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife.”

“That’s Betty Mae! This is incredible!”

The redneck was catching on.

“Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual,” said the professor.

“You’re absolutely right! Why that’s the most fascinating thing I ever heard! I can’t wait to take that logical thinking class!”

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

“So what class are ya taking’?” asked the friend.
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“logical thinking class!” replied the first redneck.

“What the hell is logical thinking?” asked his friend.

“Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?” asked the first redneck.

“No,” his friend replied.

“You’re gay, ain’t ya?”

[lmno196]

Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Robe dirty!", the man exclaimed.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" , said the man.Vibram Fivefingers
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"Well, the head monk replied, I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
Submitted by Bonnie P

[lmno196]

What is a cat?
- Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
- They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but they don't hear you when you are in the same room.
- They growl when theycheap handbags
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are not happy.
- When you want to play, they want to play.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They are great at begging.
- They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
- They leave their toys everywhere.
- They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: They are little men in fur coats.
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[lmno196]

A lorry driver is driving 200 penguins to London Zoo when his lorry breaks down on the motorway. The driver gets out of the cab and is looking at the engine when a second lorry driver stops in front of him and asks if he needs help. The penguins' driver explains that he is taking the penguins to the zoo and asks if the other man would
take the penguins there. He agrees.
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cheap air jordan shoesSome hours later, the 2nd lorry driver drives past the first one, who is still waiting on the motorway. The penguins are still on the lorry, and look happy.
"I thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo," shouted the first driver.
The second replied, "I did, but I had some money left, so we're going to the cinema now."
(Present continuous / just for fun)
Submitted by Jeremy Hookway